Thursday, January 27, 2011

What Have I Gotten Myself Into?!

As you may know, I have started running again after a hiatus of about 3 years. Right now the term running is more like an optimistic description of what I wish I were doing. In reality, I'm shuffling along making running-type movements with my legs. But I pretend that I am actually moving more quickly than a snail on heavy narcotics would, and I keep huffing and puffing along taking (more frequent than I would like) short walking breaks when necessary.

Someone once told me that I was a good paralegal because I was goal-oriented rather than task-oriented, meaning I could see and work towards the big picture. It seems I am that way in my exercising and running regimen, too. I need a goal to aspire to, and I don't mean some nebulous "I want to lose weight and become healthy" kind of goal either. I mean, I need something concrete that I can work towards - more importantly, something that I know I will totally and completely embarrass myself at if I don't commit to training for the next 8 weeks. So...what do you think I chose? A local 5k? Well, not quite.

I signed up for the Warrior Dash. While it is a 5k, it involves obstacles - and mud - lots and lots of mud. The website assures me the Warrior Dash will be the "craziest frickin day of [my] life." I'm pretty sure that is a 100% true assessment. The course is called the battleground, and the obstacles include such fun things as hay bales to climb over, a river to run through, mounds of sand to trek through and a muddy hill to slide down before the glorious finale of low-crawling through the mud under barbed wire. Doesn't that sound like a glorious time?!

If you are wondering how you, too, can train for the Warrior Dash, here is the site's advice:

1.Day one: run as far as you can. Go home.
2.Day two: do the same thing.
3.Find the dirtiest pond in your neighborhood and snorkel in it - in your slippers, without goggles.
4.Practice your climbing and crawling skills at your local jungle gym. Ignore the small children and parental glares.
5.Do not shower or shave for weeks in order to obtain a true Warrior look.
Seriously though, your best bet is to do plenty of running leading up to the race.

Wish me luck...